How to Tell a Family You Dont Want to Nanny Again

A nanny is like a member of your extended family unit: They desire coin, they might leave at any moment, and your child adores them. This creates an utterly unique social situation in which a professional person is paid to plant and maintain a personal human relationship with a child while parents wait on with skepticism and hope. It's fraught for all concerned and then, naturally, a lot is left unsaid. As intimate as the nanny-parent relationship tin can become, at that place's e'er a fleck of altitude. Some of that has to do with bonuses and negotiations, but a lot of that has to do with the breach of existence a stranger in a foreign country. Other people's families are strange and walking into that state of affairs is, past definition, bizarre.

Nannies and au pairs keep their jobs by keeping their mouths shut about the weirdness, the cheapness, and the questionable decor. If they're good, they focus on the kid. If they're neat, they make their chore seem like a pleasure. It is and information technology isn't. It may exist fun at times, but it remains a job. Here's what nannies remember about their bosses and never say.

1. Make me wait exterior instead of answering the door in the bathrobe. I get that we're all friends here, but we're not close friends.
2. If you play TV shows before I show up, then I'm simply the person who turns off the TV. It'southward a bad look.
3. Sometimes people call up your child is mine and I don't correct them.
4. Yes, your child cares about me.
5. Yes, there are days when your kid is an affections. I'm paid for the days when that's not the case.
6. Your phone is synced to your kid's iPad. I can see your texts. Some of them are gross.
7. Of course I've looked through the medicine cabinet.
8. Don't talk shit near other people who take worked for you lot. It volition only make me wonder what you say virtually me.
9. Perks become a long fashion. Not having to pay for lunch would be helpful.
10. When you have me take intendance of your sick, contagious kid, I feel like Beth from Niggling Women correct earlier she gets scarlet fever.
11. If you abolish without ample notice, please offering to pay me something.
12. Don't brag nearly the fact that your baby eats sushi.
13. Don't offer me your infant's leftovers.
14. I didn't teach the kid to swear. We all taught the child to swear.
15. I'1000 going to spiral up sometimes.
16. If y'all encourage your kid to be a snitch, you're going to have a crappy child and need a new nanny.
17. It'south okay if you don't enquire my opinion. That's way amend than asking and ignoring it.
18. If I'm "never" allowed to be belatedly, neither are you.
19. We're both going to be late. Allow'south at to the lowest degree exist honest about that.
20. I lied almost speaking "some French."
21. I need backup. I'one thousand going to get sick and take vacations. I'thousand a homo person so you demand a more elaborate plan.
22. Don't be weird nearly the money. Information technology'due south a job.
23. I was the one who ate all the cheddar bunnies.
24. If you lot want me to put abroad your laundry, observe a different spot for the vibrator.
25. If yous're dwelling, your kid knows and will observe you.
26. That is not my fault.
27. If I want to tell you nigh my personal life, I volition.
28. Taking taxes out of my pay is fine, just don't you dare tell me after I already accepted the position at a certain charge per unit.
29. Your kids deed out when y'all get home from work because they're excited to see you. It'due south not a reflection of how the day was. Take it as a compliment.
30. Don't worry, my boyfriend wouldn't come over even if I wanted him to.
31. I both fear and respect visiting grandparents.
32. I empathise having a person in your home requires a huge amount of trust and you have great gustatory modality, but I likewise accept no interest in stealing your shit.
33. I will regrettably take items off your hands during bound cleaning or a move and contemplate calling out of work under a pile of ataxia.
34. It's funny when you're drunk and pretending non to be.
35. Y'all're not creepy, but when you try also difficult not to be creepy it teeters on the edge of creepiness.
36. Give thanks y'all for making sure I get home rubber late at night.
37. If you think I may ask for a raise (and you can afford it) but give me one.
38. Please don't ask me who I voted for.
39. You're likewise the first adult I've talked to today and I relate to your loneliness more than yous know.
40. If y'all have a nanny cam, it's fine. A bit 1990s, only fine.
41. Only tell me a photographic camera is in that location so I don't fart, dance weird, or have off my spit up-covered shirt in forepart of it.
42. Your house is fine and everything, just information technology'south not a privilege to hang out in it. Information technology's not my house.
43. I send you pictures of the kid because I call back the kid is cute. Too, I want you to think that I think the child is cute. It tin exist both.
44. For the love of god, don't tell me how much you spend on annihilation. Yous know how much I brand.
45. Don't encourage me to accept "one of my own." Over again, you know how much I brand.
46. I'g non tired. I'm hungover.
47. You lot don't accept to tell me who did cocaine at your wedding for me to think y'all're cool.
48. I have goals and I am going to leave you ane day. It's not personal.
49. You guys seem similar you dearest each other a lot.
50. That makes a gig that isn't e'er piece of cake a whole lot better.

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Source: https://www.fatherly.com/love-money/thoughts-every-nanny-has-about-parents/

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